Saturday, July 30, 2011

Life of the Party? Not.

So, in a few minutes I need to get my behind in gear to go to a barbecue.  While there will be people I know and love there, I'm vaguely ambivalent about going because the "what's going on with you" spotlight will inevitably shine on me at some point and I'll end up giving them what they want to hear, because some of them just can't handle my brand of reality.  That's where they're at and that's okay for them.

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It's not okay for me, though.  Not at all.  But I'll do it rather than drop a boulder into the center of the pond and face the effects of a micro-Tsunami.  I'm seriously past the point of being anything other than who I am, yet certain people at this gathering will fill certain loved ones' ears with their sputtering until Kingdom Come if I let it all hang out.

So, I'll be a good girl and play nice.  I'll say enough to keep it real and withhold enough to prevent backlash.  I won't be the life of the party, but I'll be there.  For this afternoon, that will be enough.

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